did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize