you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
