Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You've changed since you got that strap on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
