I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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