You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
