Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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