watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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