Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
