a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
