Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Did we literally take a cab across the street
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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