We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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