i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
