More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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