brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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