dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
