can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My liver just had a heart attack.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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