This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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