is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I will pee on everything he values.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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