The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
