He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
