I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
