Dual....:-)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
