just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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