the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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