drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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