Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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