i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
