he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
