you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
