At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
