she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't turn off my feet"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
