thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
