i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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