There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
