She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
