dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
