Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
