so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
