So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
