I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Holy shit dude........stairs
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