just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
