He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
