ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
