I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
