first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
