STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
