No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
