I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
