What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize