shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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