I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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