So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
