I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
