this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
