i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
